Click here for my review of this really weird year
The first half of 2009- Republicans Seek The New Face of the GOP
But, wait. Let’s backtrack to the beginning of the end of the Republican Party:October 12, 2008…Oh, Dear. The GOP finally realized that McCain/ Palin combo would lose in a landslide.
Reality: Chicks don’t always vote for chicks!
Intelligent women demand to know a candidate’s positions and Palin’s were wrong on every issue.
Thus, Republicans scrambled to find a new hero:
Joe the Plumber
Just an Average Joe, Middle America, successful small businessman, a union guy…
Famous for being famous.“I’m getting ready to buy a company that makes 250 to 280 thousand dollars a year.
Your new tax plan’s going to tax me more, isn’t it?” asked “Joe” of Obama before the cameras.
CURIOUS AMERICANS (an endangered species) spent 2 minutes on the net and learned that Average Joe was really Sam Wurzelbacher and he wasn’t from Middle America…recently moved from Arizona where John McCain refused to pardon another Wurzelbacher (Sam’s cousin?). We also learned that Sam wasn’t a plumber or union guy. Wurzelbacher flunked out of the plumbers’ apprenticeship program and worked as a low paid gofer for a real plumber. Deadbeat Dad Sam owed a ton of alimony and back taxes and never earned as much as $40,000 a year…and, Sam was gonna pay millions for a plumbing co that makes more than $250,000 per year??? With what? The GPO’s attempt to block Obama’s path with their new symbol: A dumbass angry white guy afraid of change…failed.
Something for Nothing…The Saga of Joe Plumber by Sam Wurzelbacher
Key of C guitar chords1) F Ain’t got no plumber’s C license and the G union rules are C clear/
Owe a F a million C taxes, make less than G forty grand a C year/
F Obama wants to C kill my dream to G be a CE C O/
F Something For C Nothing…The G American Dream I C know!
2) I come from Arizona with a banjo on my knee/
Where a Keating Five Wurzelbacher is in the penitentiary/
Sam I Am, but the GOP said “Your first name now is Joe”/
“Something For Nothing”…The American Dream I know!
3) Now, I’m a liar from Ohiar, but my big dream’s coming true/
Gonna write a book and cut a record for the Red, White and True/
My neck is red, my skin is white and my collar is still blue/
I’ll never vote for a Negro…and I’m betting so can’t you!
The GOP rewarded Sam for his lies…A record contract and book deal w/ghost writer…sold 12 copies.
ABOVE: A CONSTRUCTIVE ANARCHY EXCLUSIVE!
What would have been Sam’s first hit single if he wasn’t tonedeaf.
January- Out With the Old…
The 2008 election: Republicans who backed Duyba to max for 8 long years suddenly pretended not to know the worst president of our lifetime…perhaps the worst ever! Each GOP candidate claimed to be the “Most Reaganee”.
.tags: George W Bush, worse than Nixon, worst president ever
…And In With the New
National Security is Obama’s First Priority
.When paranoid Trickie Dickie was asked, “What’s the first thing you will do as president?” Nixon answered, “They gave me a key to the White House door and I’m going to make sure it fits!
Bobby Jindal
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February 24, 2009
The GOP replaced Joe the Plumber with Bobby Jindal…token brown-skin southern Republican.Following President Obama’s State of the Union speech Bobby emerged from the shadows (like Béla Lugosi’s first appearance in Dracula), scaring small children, and quickly dismissed the facts that Republicans had driven the National debt to an all-time high…had driven America into the worst recession since the Great Depression…had started two illegal occupations which thus far have cost us $2,000,000,000 and several thousands of America’s finest young people. “NO!” said Bobby, “The real problem is that we are spending hundreds of dollars on volcano monitoring!”
A month later a volcano erupted in Alaska, pissing off Sarah Palin, and Bobby Jindal became irrelevant.
March, 2009 Michael Steele
The new and improved Hip Hop GOP
.tags: Michael Steele, Michele Bachmann, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber. Barack received 99.9999% of the young, educated minorities and McCain only won the older non-White, male, trailer-trash vote in the 2008. The GOP was determined to reach out as they elected hip (1960s) hepcat (1950s) Michael Steele as Chairman of the RNC in Jan. March was Michael’s time to shine.
April 2009- Birth of the Tea Baggers!
“Grassroot Movement” invented/ promoted by Fox News…Um, astroturf isn’t grass and has no roots.
.tags: Michael Steele, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh
.Right after the 2008 election David Rees pointed out that there a large group of uninformed irrational white men who are scared to death of change.
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The Great White Corporate Shark ordered their GOP minions to become the Party of No and used its Propaganda Machine, Fox News to spread vicious, outrageous lies to flame the fears and to organize the dumbest Americans to work hard against their own best interests.
“When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him”- Jonathan Swift
May 2009- Fox News Becomes the New Face of the GOP!
.tags Russ Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck
NONE OF THE ABOVE! These well-paid puppets must follow the script of their boss, Rupert Murdock.
.Rupert’s daddy was a pioneer in sensational tabloid journalism…gobbling up newspapers and radio stations in Australia and England and replacing real news with sex, violence, scandals, celutards and soft porn. When Pops died Sonny took over the family business and spread this fatal disease to America.
Evil genius, Rupert Murdoch invented (pulled out of ass) the Astro-Turf Tea Baggers Movement (although as an Aussie he has no clue what the Boston Tea party was all about), The Birther Movement (although McCain was born in Panama and an Aussie coyote snuck him into America). Death Panels for Grannie???!!! A majority of Fox News regulars still believe that Saddam planned 9/11 and we found WMDs in Iraq!? Murdoch is responsible for the Dumbing of America. His viewers used to be ashamed of the ignorance. But, today faith (in Fox) is all you need. Speak out, oh ye of few brain cells. Regurgitate the Talking Points! Dumb is Beautiful! Facts, science, evolution, common sense and critical thinking=Evil.
Rupert Murdock- The real New Face of the GOP!
RupaRoo is destroying American Free Press and Free Speech and is now attempting a Hostile Corporate Takeover of the internet to kill the flow of free information.Will Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp Bring To An End The Era Of Free Internet Content?
I realize that most of you don’t care right now, but you will soon when you have to pay for YouTube and your favorites sites will take an hour to download.
If Freedom of Speech dies America is just another country.
When your Uncle Bubba becomes confused and offers a Fox Talking Point, Please be kind. Reply:
“Dude, I love you and I love America, but hate when you repeat words from heroes Rush, Beck, Bill and Sean…who are reading from a memo received from their boss:
Australian, alien terrorist, corporate screwhead, free speech assassin, Rupert Murdoch.
Sorry, Unka Bubba. I will never bow to some dumbass Kangaroo Boy who tries to tell me how to run MY country (the greatest in the history of the world)…But, I understand that you folks in West Virginia are much more liberal, and you have a right to worship satanic foreigner RupaRoo. But, please recognize that we would still be a colony of England if people like you were in charge. STFU and please allow real Americans to save our beloved country (and you) from evil outside influences.
The Second Half of 2009
Sex Scandals, Celebrity Deaths, Greed, Health Insurance Lobbyists stage a coup and seize control of Congress, HypoChristans, Paris Hilton is Our New Linguistics Tsar: Obama’s SURGE (sexual reference) rather than ESCALATION into a quagmire (not hot) and North Pole melts…No Toys for Xmas!
.June 25, 2009…Black Thursday. Within 24 hours the masses said goodbye to Michael Jackson
.And Center: Farrah Fawcett…a C- minus actress, but her inspirational poster relieved millions of American teen boys during the 1970’s. So just beat it!
Right: Betty Grable’s poster did the same for teens and our brave boys overseas during WWII.
But, of course, the biggest loss of Black Thursday was the death of Sky Saxon…
.King of the LA Scene during the birth of the Second Golden Age of Rock&Roll, Godfather of raw ProtoPunk, King of Angst. This incredible band only knew 3 chords…seldom used more than 2!
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All you guitar hero wannabees please note: Say Saxon was using power chords…only the top two (lowest of six) strings in 1966! B to A, B to A, B to A, etc. Even if you have never touched a real guitar in your life it will take less than 20 minutes to learn this song! (Those of you in West Virginia please allow an hour). The only other band at the time to use this technique was the Kinks on All of the Night, So Tired of Waiting, etc…and yet, this great breakthrough became the root of heavy medal and punk. Without Sky Saxon there would have been no Led Zepplin, Alice Cooper, Iggy and the Stooges, Sex Pistols, AC/DC, Metallic, Dead Kennedys, etc.
Pay Sky his due. Why aren’t the Seeds in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?!!!
August 2009- Town Hall Health Care Meetings
Congress was on vacation, but Health Insurance Industry lobbyists forced their Republican minions to hold pep rallies to screw Americans out of the basic right that the citizens of every other industrialized, civilized First World nation has: National, socialized Health Care. The Dems held a few of their own Town Halls and Big Insurance bussed in their employees to disrupt these meetings.Basic Heath Care for every citizen in the richest, most powerful nation in the history of the world? Seemed like a no-brainer. I decided to go check it out. (I know, you had other priorities.)
I Survived a Republican Town Hall Meeting!.
My photo while waiting in line of old friends, the artists formerly known as Billionaires for Bush
I attended the TOWN HALL Heath Care Meeting of wacky Right-Wing Tool Buck McKeon. What, Me Worry? Me and 500 rednecks…What could go wrong?
I entered the College of the Canyons gym (Santa Clarita, CA) and scanned the faces: 3 Black, 2 Latino, 1 Asian and 494 Caucasian. Yep, typical McKeon crowd…Tried to get a seat up front…Denied!
The truth is Republicans know how to run a Town Hall and we don’t!
1) One could not enter into GOP Bizarro World unless you showed an invitation offered only to members of McKeon’s mailing list. I believe in Know Thine Enemy.
2) Buck surrounded himself in a tight semicircle of 100 zombie insiders with talking-point scripts.
He didn’t call on me to ask a question.
September 2009- Carrie Prejean- Bionic HypoChristan
.Dear Carrie…The gift that keeps on giving. Thank you, Jesus.
Prejean’s saga began on April 19, 2009 at Trump’s Miss USA when Christan/ GOP spokeschick declared:
Well I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. {But} In my family, I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to
{the 10% of the world that I hope will soon die} anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that {marriage} should be between a man and a woman {and a double-wide trailer home}.
The Donald Stood By His Girl, but had to admit that he paid for Carrie’s boob job, capped teeth, tanning salon and bleached hair. “It gives our girls confidence”.
America cracked down on steroids in male sports. When will we stop boob jobs in beauty contests?
Soon, topless photos of Sainte Carrie began to show up on net and Prejean explained, “I am a model and it was very windy in the studio that day.”
Again Trump stood by her and declared, “Nothing wrong with these pics. I find them kinda artsy.”
But then, Prejean tried to cash in on her 15-minutes by skipping Miss USA appearances in favor of speaking to homophobe groups and filming anti-same-sex-marriage ads. No one disses the Donald. He dropped her…Carrie sued…Trump countersued for the cost of her boobs and capped teeth. At the trial a surprise sex tape appeared and the Bionic HypoChristan declared, “OMG, that’s disgusting!”…until the camera panned up to reveal Miss Prejean’s face. Carrie fled the courtroom.
And then there was another sex tape and another and another sent to boyfriends by America’s most famous HypoChristian.
October 2009
Joe Judas Lieberman to Obama- Sorry, Aetna gave me 30 pieces of silver!
The Kiss of Judas.70% of the citizens of Connecticut favor a public option…But, Insurance giant Aetna based in Hartford is one of the largest private contributors to Lieberman’s re-election committee. Think Progress.
Who runs America? Monopoly Man and his harem of 41 senators who killed the public option.
.Monopoly Man also pays millions to several Blue Dog Democrats on the side.
When will his wives find the courage to bash him with a 9 Iron?
.November 2009
Karsai on Afghanistan- What’s not to like?
Change I Can’t Believe In! Obama’s Speech 12-01
.MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS…
I was drafted right after the 1968 Tet Offensive and a month later the antiwar candidate, Bobby Kennedy was assassinated.
All summer long Nixon claimed to have a plan to end the war…
I wanted to believe that just once he wasn’t lying and I wouldn’t be sent to Nam.
Right after Trickie Dickie was elected he delivered a speech exactly like Obama’s. Vietnam dragged on until 1975 when they finally kicked our ass out.
Local link- Afghanistan…Empire Graveyard
December 2009
Two great tragedies occurred during the George W Bush years:1) 9/11: On August 5 the White House received a CIA memo: “Bin Laden is planning to fly planes into American buildings”. They had already heard several warnings from the FBI: “A bunch of Saudi kids are in flight schools in Florida and they refuse to take lessons on how to land a plane.” Red flags? No. Both warnings were ignored. Bush was on vacation in Crawford for the entire month of Aug, hanging with Texas trash who wanted to have a beer with the president. The result: the worst attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor…Oh, wait. Hawaii was not yet a state (most Birthers still refuse to acknowledge
such), thus we must jump back to the burning of the White House by the British in 1812 to find such a failure in Homeland Security.
2) Santa’s workshop at the North Pole was safe for tens of thousands of years…long before there was an America. Bush corporate masters ordered their puppetboy to ignore the effect of global warming and thus, the snow and ice beneath Santa’s toyshop melted and Christmas sank to the bottom of the sea where it was claimed by Russian godless commies during the watch of George W Bush.
What do you yahoos tell your children when they Google Earth the North Pole and it’s no longer there?
.Local link to my music video
There’s No Toys on this Christmas Day Cause the North Pole has Melted Away.
2010- Bad Year of the Tiger
Can you spot the golfer?Where On Earth Is Tiger Woods?
Tiger has been “seen” getting his bashed teeth fixed in Phoenix, renting a floor at Trump International hotel in New York, living on his yacht off Florida, renting a game reserve in South Africa
…in Long Island, San Francisco, France, the Bahamas, Graceland, etc, etc.
More Tiger sightings than Elvis (on his 75th birthday) and UFOs combined!
.Sister Keiko explains, “2010 is a METAL tiger year, as opposed to a WOOD tiger year.”
…A time when Tigers of Wood will lose all their gold.
tags: Tiger Woods, Year of the Tiger
Published by Nick at 07:06 AM on December 27, 2009