Constructive Anarchy: The Blog

Lincoln’s Birthday

Our 5th Christmas Special!

There’s No Toys on this Christmas Day
Cause the North Pole Has Melted Away!
The best new classic Xmas tune since Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer! The North Pole melted away due to global warming and Santa’s workshop sank to the bottom of the sea…claimed by Russia.
.
.

NO TOYS ON THIS CHRISTMAS DAY by Greg Giacona

1- There’s G no toys on D this Christmas G day.
The C North pole has Em melted D away.
C It really is a D shame, Global G warming is to Em blame.
And C Santa’s mail got G dumped into the D bay
2- My Christmas list splashed down in icy water
And, sadly it was gobbled by an otter
…swallowed by a polar bear who really doesn’t care
if I get my toys and every Harry Potter
3- No presents beneath the Christmas tree
Cause my mom still drives her SUV
Dad’s rolling in his Hummer and freezes us in summer
So I’ll never get to sit on Santa’s knee
4- A Russian flag no flies on Santa’s workshop
at the bottom of the deep blue sea
Godless Commies now own Christmas and Santa sure will miss us
But he’s got no toys to give to you and me
5- No toys beneath the Christmas tree
Cause my mom still drives her SUV
It really is a shame, Global warming is to blame
So I’ll never get to sit on Santa’s knee
Cause he’s C got no toys to D give to you and G me.
.
Contact Greg if you are inspired to create a YouTube of my song. Please rip me off! I will post your vid here and you will become a SuperStar in the eyes of both of my readers.
CloneMasters Videos and Songbook. YouTube links to my favorite weird Xmas songs-
Ballad of Tiger Woods Xmas song, Buy War Toys For Christmas by Roy Zimmerman, Christmas Is Pain by Roy Zimmerman (doing his best Bobby Zimmerman), Chanukha Song By Adam Sandler, Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer A Christmas Classic! Often heard on Dr Demento before you were born. Bohemian Christmas Rhapsody, There’s No Toys on this Xmas Day Cause the North Pole has Melted Away by the Clonemasters, Santa Baby By Eartha Kitt

Print out and send this Christmas card to your Uncle Bubba

Santanarchy!

Boing Boing TV
About this time each year thousands of EVIL SANTAS attack American cities!
From Wikipedia In 1994, the Cacophony Society staged the first SantaCon in San Francisco. Influenced by the surrealist movement, Discordianism, and other subversive art currents, the Cacophonists decided to celebrate the Yule season in a distinctly anti-commercial manner, by mixing guerrilla street theatre, pranksterism, and public intoxication. In subsequent years, SantaCon evolved, spawning many different versions of the event throughout the world.
Local Cacaphony Societies have staged SantaCons in Los Angeles, Oklahoma City, Chicago, New York, Detroit, Seattle, Portland, San Jose,Washington DC, Atlanta, Boston, Denver, Austin Texas, Vancouver, London, Tokyo, and McMurdo Station in Antarctica. By 2003, the idea had spread to almost 30 cities in four countries. In 2005, enough Santas participated in the Washington DC Santarchy to encircle the Washington Monument.
Fight them at the North Pole so we don’t have to fight them here!
I barely survived these terrorists in SF last year as they hopped from bar to bar and bullied innocent tourists.
Where is Homeland Security? 1995 SF Santarachy Police Report

Dec 7- Pearl Harbor

.
2003: Iraq, Afghanistan…They’re all Muslim terrorists. Who cares?
1941: Japan, China…They’re all Asian terrorists. Who cares?
Bookmark this page. Trust me…You don’t want to miss my Christmas special. A preview:

The real origin of American Thanksgiving

We all know the sweet Thanksgiving story taught to us in school, but recently old official Dutch records revealed the dark side of our great American tradition:
In late November of 1637, a force of colonists (with the help of a bunch of Blackwaterish paid Dutch mercenaries) trapped an entire tribe of seven hundred unarmed Pequot Indians celebrating their corn harvest in their long house near the mouth of the Mystic River. Them Injuns was in the way of progress!
Captain John Mason shock and awed the camp with “fire, sword, blunderbuss, and tomahawk.”
Compassionate conservative Christians set the windowless building on fire and slaughted these peaceful Native Americans (unarmed men, women and children) one by one as they tried to escape the blazing inferno. “To see them frying in the fire, and the streams of their blood quenching the same, and the stench was horrible, but the victory seemed a sweet sacrifice to the great delight of the Pilgrims, and they gave praise thereof to God,” said the Cap.
For 66 years thereafter the Pilgrims celebrated the date as a Day of Thanks. In 1704 Massachusetts Governor Dudley declared a “General Thanksgiving” state holiday and soon after the day became a National Holiday to celebrate the Holocaust/Genocide of Red Man and Woman:
“[God’s] infinite Goodness to extend His Favors… In defeating and disappointing…. the expeditions of the Enemy [Indians] against us, And the good Success given us against them, by delivering so many of them into our hands,” said the Gov. Link to article
I will say a prayer for the Pequot Indians before Thanksgiving dinner as I do each year.
Speaking of Turkey Day,
Ben Franklin campaigned hard to make the wild turkey our National Bird but was outvoted.

Hooray! It’s a holiday for Everybody But Veterans Again!

I returned from Vietnam in 1970 and have been forced to work on each Veterans Day since while the rest of my family: Parents, sibs, wife and kids celebrate with time off. Wednesday was TYPICAL: wife and daughter are teachers- day off with pay.
My schedule: 8:30 AM until 11 PM (3rd day in a row). WTF!
I lied…I had one V Day off 2 years ago for cataract surgery…without pay…Couldn’t keep my job without.
Can anyone tell me who benefits from this holiday? Certainly not me…not the 40% of the homeless who were unable to readjust to civilian life after witnessing the horrors of our occupations in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan…Not the 200,000 American kids currently serving in MidEast Hell on their 3rd, or 4th, or 5th year-long tour.
Next year we’re taking the holiday off and the rest of you are on your own. Contact Greg.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Imagine if George W Bush was the Worst AND the First

.

Uh, oh. Nasty worst-president-ever shadow…Winter will last til November!

Published by Nick at 08:19 PM on December 14, 2009