Constructive Anarchy: The Blog

In 301 days real Americans and real Christians will reclaim America.

Jerry Falwell is dead.

The Age of American HypoChristians 1978-2008- will soon expire

A brand new coloring book sermon for Catholic Kids!

According to the group “Bishop Accountability,” some 3,000 priests out of the 42,000 across the country have since been denounced, some of whom have been investigated and convicted.
Since the scandal broke, US Catholic authorities have paid out close to 2.8 billion dollars in damages, forcing many dioceses to sell off their assets. Catholic coloring book warns US kids of pedophile priests

RELATED: Cardinal Mahoney Will Not File Charges In Assult
Roger Mahony, 71, spoke of the July attack at a recent conference of priests and said it gave him a deeper understanding of the suffering endured by victims of the nationwide scandal.
The main message is that my wounds healed within a month, bruises and all, but the victims of child abuse are still suffering after many years, and their wounds are far deeper than what I experienced.
Well, duh…

Enough with your emails! Yes, Greg is a real reverend.
We can provide documentation that he paid his $30 on the internet and thus, is just as qualified and legitimate as Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Ted Haggart and Jim Bakker.
Click here to start your own religion for $30
…The requirements to become a fry cook at McD are much tougher.
Please email Rev Greg.

Guest Sermonizer Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Open Letter To Kansas School Board

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.
Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

Rev Billy

Jesus Wants You To Stop the Shopocalypse

What Would Jesus Buy? trailer

Dear Lord, Help me become a BALANCED MAN.
The greatest and most powerful country in history has ripped apart by two extremist groups: those who are 100% FAITH on the right and those 100% FACT on the Left.
Meanwhile the vast majority of Americans have been shoved to the sidelines.
Naive idealists of Heart on the right and those of Head on the left are doomed…
empty humans…blocking progress.
Ike and Goldwater were men of faith with great common sense. JFK and Carter were intellectuals with great faith. When they ran America there was no torture, spying on innocent citizens, and corporate greed was kept in check.
Einstein, Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawkings are the great scientific minds of our times.
I challenge you to send me one page of their writings that does not refer to God, Our Creator or A Higher Source to explain the mysteries of the universe.
These were brilliant BALANCED, COMPLETE MEN…what all Americans should strive to become.

Guest sermonizer: Jeff Jacoby

BELIEF IN God is no guarantee of goodness. Piety without ethics - religious fanaticism - can be a prescription for great evil, as centuries of religious brutality and bloodshed make all too clear. A millennium ago, Crusaders massacred their victims to the cry of “Deus lo volt!” - “God wills it!” Islamist radicals exclaimed “Allahu Akbar” - “God is great” - as they beheaded innocent hostages and crashed airliners into the World Trade Center.
But you don’t have to look back into history or to the global jihad for evidence that zealots who care more about God than about goodness bring cruelty and pain into the world. Consider instead the Westboro Baptist Church.
A self-described “Primitive Baptist” congregation led by Fred Phelps, the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas is a fringe hate group obsessed with homosexuality. (It is not affiliated with any official Baptist convention.) It numbers only several dozen followers who travel the country with picket signs insisting that America has been cursed because of its tolerance for gays.
The essence of what the Westboro members call their “picketing ministry” is mockery of the victims of tragedy, and the cheering of deadly disasters. They claim that they “used to pray for the good of America” but decided that the nation is beyond redemption. Accordingly, they now “pray daily for more outpourings of God’s justice and wrath on this evil, hateful nation” and celebrate “hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, IEDs, collapsing mines, and more” as instruments of divine wrath.
What the Westboro Church lacks in numbers, it more than makes up in rhetorical poison. Among the messages featured on its pickets are “God Hates Fags,” “Thank God for Katrina,” and “Thank God for the California Fires.” The group’s websites proclaim gleefully that the “Utah miners are in hell,” as are “the Amish children in Pennsylvania” and “Coretta Scott King … with her husband.”
Westboro has become especially notorious in recent years for demonstrating at the funerals of US troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. “These turkeys are not heroes,” one of the group’s websites sneers. “They are lazy, incompetent idiots looking for jobs because they’re not qualified for honest work… . They voluntarily joined a fag-infested army to fight for a fag-run country now utterly and finally forsaken by God who Himself is fighting against that country.”
As a legal matter, it is not easy to silence such contemptible spewings. The First Amendment, as Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, safeguards not just “free thought for those who agree with us, but freedom for the thought that we hate.” Several Legislatures have passed laws restricting protests in the vicinity of funerals, but such laws may be vulnerable on constitutional grounds.
A federal jury in Baltimore this week is weighing a different kind of legal challenge. The father of Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder, a 20-year-old Marine killed in Iraq, is suing the Westboro church for picketing his son’s funeral last year with signs reading “God Hates You” and “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.” Albert Snyder argues that the picketers’ unwanted presence and naked cruelty should be punished as an unlawful invasion of privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress. (Full details, and a fund to help defray the Snyder family’s legal costs, are at matthewsnyder.org.)
But even if it isn’t legally possible to stop the Westboro hatemongers, it is possible to learn from them. They offer a vivid demonstration of why belief in God is dangerous if it doesn’t include the belief that God’s foremost demand is that human beings act with kindness and decency. Fred Phelps and his followers appear to believe fervently in God. Their literature is replete with quotations from the Bible. But the only passages that appear to interest them are those that warn of God’s punishment for wicked behavior. Glaringly absent from their signs, websites, and press releases is the central teaching of ethical monotheism - not just that there is a God, but that God wants men and women to be good to each other. God does not smile on those who taunt victims instead of helping them.
Does the Bible condemn homosexuality? Yes - but not nearly as often as it condemns those who treat others with cruelty. To the Westboro fanatics, no calling is higher than hating homosexuals and anyone who doesn’t share their hatred. But the Bible they thump so intolerantly actually teaches something quite different:
“He has shown you, O man, what is good,” the prophet Micah said. “What does God require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” It is a shining mark in America’s favor that the Westboro Baptist Church is so small.

Jeff Jacoby’s e-mail address is jacoby@globe.com.

Published by Greg at 01:00 AM on March 14, 2008