America’s Best Christian, Betty Bowers
Thinning the herd
12/10/07 UPDATE: LA TIMES articleSome parishes won’t secede
Several San Joaquin Episcopal churches aren’t joining their diocese’s split.By Rebecca Trounson, Los Angeles Times December 10, 2007
FRESNO — One day after the Diocese of San Joaquin became the first in the country to break ties with the Episcopal Church, the Rev. Keith Axberg sought to reassure and cheer up his congregation.
Richard Jennings, a vestry board member at Holy Family, said, “It’s like a boil that’s been there a long time and you have to lance it to heal…Now we can do that.”
Another parishioner, George Wade, agreed, “The Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin is very much alive…We’re going to be growing in fertile ground now that the weeds are gone.”
CA Editor: Hang in there with me on this developing story. This is big. Real American Christians are beginning to take back their religion.
Those homophobic, chauvinistic, racist Hate-riot HypoChristians who believe in the Love of Power more than the Power of Love will soon be forced to crawl back under their rock.
Episcopal Diocese Secedes From Church
By NEELA BANERJEE, The New York Times articleFRESNO, Calif. (Dec. 8) - The Diocese of San Joaquin voted on Saturday to cut ties with the Episcopal Church, the first time in the church’s history a diocese has done so over theological issues and the biggest leap so far by dissident Episcopalians hoping to form a rival national church in the United States.
Fissures have moved through the Episcopal Church, the American arm of the worldwide Anglican Communion, which has 77 million members, and through the Communion itself since the church ordained V. Gene Robinson, A GAY MAN in a long-term relationship, as bishop of New Hampshire in 2003…
The Diocese of San Joaquin, with 47 parishes and 8,800 members is one of only three dioceses that does not ordain women priests.
Above: Bishop John-David Schofield and his great, great, great, great, great grandson Bishop Jabba.
EDITOR: Ah, yes, Brother Schofield…Please split from the church and align yourself with your brethern in South Africa. In fact, take your flock to Jonestown.
Get out of my state, get out of my country.
I attended the Episcopal Church as a child…I may return if you leave.
Bill Maher blasts Regent Law School
Finally, some real Christians stand up to Bush
“As United Methodists, we belive that the linking of his presidency with a university bearing the Methodist name is utterly inappropriate. Methodists have a long history of social conscience, so questions about the conduct of this president are very concerning.”
Statement from Methodists ministers at SMU.
Dubya wants a library like all the real presidents. Boy George couldn’t remember ever seeing such a place at his own universities, but Laura assured him that SMU has a library and a school for librarians.
Unfortunately, some Real Christians (not wacky Born-Again Hypochristians) are blocking his path.
30,000,000 Born Again Americans hung on Haggard’s every word
Who is Ted Haggart?
Link to article in Colorado Springs Gazette
Candorville
All Saints ChurchALL SAINTS dared to speak of THE PRINCE OF PEACE and Dubya is threatening to take away their federal tax exemption because of political speech. Hundreds of wacky Born-Again, Hypo-Christian Preachers have warned their congregations to “Support Bush or burn in hell”, but only one Episcopalian church in Pasadena is under attack from the IRS. They didn’t endorse, or even mention, a candidate, but talk of PEACE is taboo in America today. Bush’s Jesus is a vengeful God…He told Boy George to hate fags, science, facts, non-christians and to invade Iraq.
Real Christians are the SILENT MAJORITY of our time. Only the lunatic fringe (less than 10% of American Christians) of FUNDAMENTALIST FUNGI have been seen in the media for the past six years.
Finally, real Christians step up to the plate. God Bless you, Rev Gregory Boyd! You preach THE POWER OF LOVE rather than THE LOVE OF POWER, and 1,000 hypoChristians fled. You are better off without them. 4,000 true believers remained and rejoiced when they heard the real message from the Prince of Peace for the first time in this Neocon Dark Age:
NY Times:
The requests came from church members and visitors alike: Would he please announce a rally against gay marriage during services? Would he introduce a politician from the pulpit? Could members set up a table in the lobby promoting their anti-abortion work? Would the church distribute “voters’ guides” that all but endorsed Republican candidates? And with the country at war, please couldn’t the church hang an American flag in the sanctuary?
After refusing each time, Mr. Boyd finally became fed up, he said. Before the last presidential election, he preached six sermons called “The Cross and the Sword” in which he said the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a “Christian nation” and stop glorifying American military campaigns.
“When the church wins the culture wars, it inevitably loses,” Mr. Boyd preached. “When it conquers the world, it becomes the world. When you put your trust in the sword, you lose the cross.”
The time has come for real Christians to step forward. Google Gregory Boyd his work…support and protect Boyd and religious leaders like him because the Love-of-Power God Squad will soon attack.
Has Kanab, Utah become the “New home of American Taliban?”
Read the LA Times articleE-mail the mayor of Kanab or
Phone: (435) 644-2534. Please tell them that Magic Sam at www.constructiveanarchy.com/blog sent you. If you are a woman or know one…get involved!
“Nearly 97% of the 3,500 residents are white. About 80% voted for President Bush in the last election. Many families trace their roots back five generations, to the Mormon pioneers who laid out the town in the 1870s with wide streets, a prudent irrigation system — and, as a historical account noted, “not a grog shop or gambling saloon or dance hall” to be found.
Members of the Kanab City Council passed a resolution proclaiming that their top priority was to protect and nurture the “natural family.”
The resolution described the natural family as man and woman, duly married “as ordained of God,” with hearts “open to a full quiver of children.” The council decreed that such households are to be treasured as “the locus of the true common good,” a bulwark against crime, delinquency, drug abuse and worse.
With rousing (if not always grammatical) rhetoric, the council promised to do all it could to promote the natural family:
‘We envision young women growing into wives, homemakers, and mothers; and we see young men growing into husbands, home-builders, and fathers…. We look to a landscape of family homes, lawns, and gardens busy with useful tasks and ringing with the laughter of many children.’” When will women lose the right to vote in Kanab? When will they be banned from driving a car?
Flash…Just in. New Kanab dress code for women:
These are exactly the type of fundalimentalist wackos that drove Europeans to America three hundred years ago. Our Founding Fathers insisted on the Separation of Church and State for good reason!
Earlier today, Senator Trent Lott stunned fellow representatives in the U.S. Senate when he admitted that he was a fugitive being from another planet. He is shown here surrendering to his space brothers a few moments before he was beamed onto the hovering mothership that whisked him back to his own solar system for reprogramming. By ClickClack.
Judge Rules Against Pa. Biology Curriculum
By MARTHA RAFFAELE, Associated Press Writer
12-20: HARRISBURG, Pa. - In one of the biggest courtroom clashes between faith and evolution since the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial, a federal judge barred a Pennsylvania public school district Tuesday from teaching “intelligent design” in biology class, saying the concept is creationism in disguise.
U.S. District Judge John E. Jones delivered a stinging attack on the Dover Area School Board, saying its first-in-the-nation decision in October 2004 to insert intelligent design into the science curriculum violated the constitutional separation of church and state.
The ruling was a major setback to the intelligent design movement, which is also waging battles in Georgia and Kansas. Intelligent design holds that living organisms are so complex that they must have been created by some kind of higher force.
Jones decried the “breathtaking inanity” of the Dover policy and accused several board members of lying to conceal their true motive, which he said was to promote religion.
A six-week trial over the issue yielded “overwhelming evidence” establishing that intelligent design “is a religious view, a mere re-labeling of creationism, and not a scientific theory,” said Jones, a Republican and a churchgoer appointed to the federal bench three years ago.
President Bush also weighed in on the issue of intelligent design recently, saying schools should present the concept when teaching about the origins of life.
In his ruling, Jones said that while intelligent design, or ID, arguments “may be true, a proposition on which the court takes no position, ID is not science.” Among other things, the judge said intelligent design “violates the centuries-old ground rules of science by invoking and permitting supernatural causation”; it relies on “flawed and illogical” arguments; and its attacks on evolution “have been refuted by the scientific community.”
The judge also said: “It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy.”
Intelligent Design? Some of us have evolved more than others.
My childhood friend has been shanghied by rapture-ready HypoChristians. I should have seen it coming… my buddy has a common Mexican name and looks like an Arab. He was unable to produce proper ID for Homeland Security and was gagged, blindfolded, shackled, and thrown into a cage at Guantanamo. During TV Sweeps Week Neoconmen replaced my friend Jesus with their new Anti-Son… the Prophet of Profit.
“The old switchola worked well on Bewitched”, noted Karl Rove. “Americans didn’t even notice when the network swapped out Dick York for Dick Sergeant.”
“You can’t fool all of the people all of the time,” objected Colin Powell, recalling his heroic, yet futile attempt to cover up the My Lai massacre in Vietnam.
“We only need to fool 41% in the 2004 election,” declared Karl. “My no-paper-trail voting machines will finish the job.”
And Rove did sayth, “Let there be Jesus Light,” and there was. Turd Blossum (Dubya’s nickname for his great friend) was awed and pleased by his creation: the new, improved FrankenChrist - HATES - science, evolution, facts, free speech, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights (and conservative judges who defend the separation of church and state), and, of course, ragheads, wetbacks, fags, commie liberals, and terrorist religion (80% of the world).
In his defense it should be noted that Karl did extend an invitation to the original Jesus to join the Bush team… “After all, the Guy has more fans than Britney Spears and Madonna (the new, improved version) combined.” Turd Blossum offered Haliburton stock and an obscene amount of dead presidents (dollars).
“A rich man can no more enter heaven than a camel can pass through the eye of a needle.”, said Jesus.
“I’m talking tax free,” countered Karl.
“Give unto Caesar (or Cheney) what is Caesar’s, but never bow to an idiot who claims to be a spokeman of God.”
Bush’s Brain approached meltdown. “This guy is talking about the separation of church and state. That’s treason!” The pitbully tried again, “Okay, this is my final offer… your own cable TV station. Millions of Americans will watch you preach every day, and all I ask in return is…”
“A little respect?” chuckled the J-man. “Satan once took me to the highest mountain and offered all that I could see, Caesar’s Empire and more, in exchange for my obedience and respect. My response to him and you is ‘Begone to hell, oh evil power-tripping screwhead.’”
“No, no, no,” moaned Karl, “That old wimpy Jesus whining about love, compassion and understanding will never do! Let’s go with my Plan B-Christ.”
“Okey-dokey, Turd Blossum,” obeyed the president, “You know best.”
The new holy GOP spokesman is a blonde, blue-eyed WASP. He doth preach: “Let us worship the Freudian might-makes-right of Hummers, SUVs, NASCAR, Pro Wrestling, and assult weapons. Shock and Awe. Bring ‘em on!”
Millions of Rapture-ready Americans pray for the physical return of the Good Shepard who will lead them to heaven as He destroys this evil, liberal world. Would the faithful in the red states even recognize Him? The Good Book describes Christ with skin the color of honey (dark) and with hair such as the fleece of sheep (African). He is a man of color with long, kinky hair… born a Jew who never spoke a word of English during his time on earth. He drove money lenders from the temple while suffering from the delusion that big business has no place in religion. Jesus was an unemployed transient, depending on the kindness of strangers. He hung out with twelve other hobos, prostitutes, lepers and the lowest outcasts of society.
But now, the truth can finally be told: the Second Coming has already occurred. There was no coverage on Fox News and the world did not end. Instead, on November 1, 2004, Jesus popped up just outside the corporate headquarters of Walmart near Bentonville, Arkansas. He was immediately detained, inspected, disected, rejected and ordered to, “Move on, hippie freak.”
The J-man then called and asked me to drive Him to Ohio. Seemed like a bad idea, but what the hell… He is Christ: how could I turn Him down? We arrived on election morn, and Jesus urged a small group of followers to vote against Dubya. “What about the separation of church and state?” I asked. “Sometimes you have to fight turd blossums with turd blossums.” Jesus then led the faithful to the polls. He tried to vote, but was challenged by angry neocons: “You are an illegal alien of color with no permanent address. You just delivered an inflammatory speech that was unpatriotic, antiwar, and anti-big business. Call Homeland Security… this man is a liberal!”
I was one of many who witnessed the brutal arrest… Jesus, in handcuffs, slipped me the list of Christians who will ascend into heaven after the Apocalypse… Sorry, but not one arrogant, hateful, racist WASP made the cut. Blessed are the peacemakers, Dude. If you can’t, understand there is a spot in hell reserved for you and yours.
My old friend has been classified as a terrorist… a threat to national security. If Jesus ever receives a fair trial He will plead guilty to the liberal charge. JESUS IS A LIBERAL. Repeat: the real Christ is, was and will always be a liberal. Real Christians and Conservative Republicans used to honor Him as such.
Do you honor the real Son or Karl Rove’s Anti-Son? Help me rescue Jesus from screwhead Neoconmen and their toady HypoChristians and Hateriots. Peace, Magic Sam.
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Published by Greg at 04:57 AM on November 21, 2007