« Hollywood Producer 'Really, Really Sorry' | Main | Cameron Stages Coup, Deposes Lucifer »
Bush Administration Wins Top Prize At Cannes
July 08, 2006
Bush Administration Wins Top Prize At Cannes
CANNES (OMS) — Amidst the glitz, the glamour and the air-kisses, one thing is certain: there will always be one big surprise every year at the Cannes Film Festival.
True to their history, the French have once again given their stamp of obsequiousness to an American from whom the rest of the world turns with a shudder. This year, the recipient is the administration of ersatz President George W. Bush. The grand jury awarded the Bush Administration the Jury Prize (also called the “Greased Palm d’Or”) for “their hilarious imitation of a Presidency”.
Insiders say the debate was rancorous and, in fact, turned on whether Bush should get Best Actor or Best Sock Puppet. Vice President And Power Behind The Throne Dick Cheney received the Nothing Up My Sleeves But My Hand Is Up His Ass Award For Misdirection. Secretary of State Colin Powell received the Oliver Hardy Best Fall Guy award for the second year in a row.
“Eet ees in ze best tradition of ze farce, non?” said French Culture Minister Elvés de la Slobinské. “Le Shrub nearly rivals ze great Jerry Lewis in his ability to wring laughs from almost any situation. Le moment du pretzel shall stand as one of ze all-time great comedy bits, like Buster Keaton and ze clock tower. Vraiment, Le Shrub is a true master of sublime hilarity.” De la Slobinske began to chuckle at the mere thought of it. “Like all ze great comedians, Le Shrub makes you laugh in order to restrain yourself from weeping, as ze immortal Emmett Kelly used to do in his routine. Le Shrub shall have a great career in ze circus, non?”
“Think about eet,” de la Slobinské continued. “‘E acts in complete contradiction to ze gravity of ze situation. Like Groucho Marx, Le Shrub’s genius is in saying the most idiotic things and being completely unaffected by zem. ‘E is almost Benigni-esque in zat regard. Many times have we—how you say?—‘busted ze gut’. Causing a panic on ze Tokyo Stock Exchange? Insulting ze Pakistanis? Le Shrub must be a genius of comedy. ‘Eet ees a serious business and we take it serious…ly’. Brilliant! Acting as if he didn’t know that there were Africans outside ze United States? Truly, zis man pushes ze comedy boundaries.” De la Slobinské wiped away a tear. ” ‘E is almost surreal.”
“What can I say?” said Film Festival President Gerard Depardieu. “We love ze Marcel Marceau. We love ze Mickey Rourke. And now, we love ze George Bush. His comedy is sublime, non?”
Depardieu and de la Slobinské turned sober when informed that the Bush Administration is in fact real and not an extended Saturday Night Live skit. “In zat case, America, ze joke, she is on you.”
Last updated by Josh on